Heading towards the friendzone? Here’s how to stay out of the friendzone from someone who has been there
Many of us have experienced love pangs and heartaches at some point in our lives. While breakup hurts, we believe that the agony of being friend-zoned is even worse. If you are in the friend zone then you are caught in between hope and despair.
It is a dreaded place, but by being smart, you can avoid it altogether. First, let us see how and why men end up in the friendzone in the first place. While the situation may differ from person to person, in most cases, men end up in the dreaded friend zone because they don’t take maximum advantage of the banter stage.
This is the stage that involves playful flirtation and a pull and push strategy. Some men try to dive straight into the rapport stage which involves deeper and intimate communication. These are the men who mostly end up being friend-zoned.
Let us take a look at why playful flirtation is necessary to keep the spark alive and to avoid ending up in a platonic ‘friend like’ relationship with the woman of your desire. Read these tips to help stay out of the friendzone.
Apply The Pull and Push Strategy
The push and pull strategy of flirtation involves two stages:
- Drawing the person in for a while (pull)
- Keeping them at an arm’s length (push)
Both stages are contradictory to each other. The push and pull strategy allows you to regain control over your emotions and manipulate her emotions in a sweet manner. It will also create anticipation in her mind to look forward to your companionship (pull phase).
- Applying this strategy during the banter stage will ensure that she won’t take you for granted and won’t place you in the friendzone.
Once you have spent some quality time with her, disengage yourself and get involved in other activities. Hang out with friends, attend a concert and other activities which you enjoy. This will send a message that even though you like this girl, your life does not revolve around her completely.
Be Open to Flirting With Other Women
- If you are in the banter stage, then you are not in a proper relationship. It means you and your girl are not exclusive and you are allowed to flirt with other women and vice versa. Showing your girl that you receive sexual advances from other women will send a message that you are a highly desirable individual.
It will also pique your girl’s interest in you. However, be careful that you don’t come across as lascivious rather as a gallant gentleman.
Don’t Be Available All The Time
- Another big mistake boys commit during the rapport stage is that they are available for the girl all the time. Whereas it is sweet to be there for someone when they need you, being available all the time during the rapport stage will make the girl lose interest in you.
Make sure that you are not the one who is texting first all the time. If she messages you at an odd time (late night or early morning) then don’t jump at the first chance of talking to her. Rather be slow in replying back.
Initiate Physical Intimacy to Build Sexual Tension
- A man who is comfortable in his skin would know how to build sexual tension through physical intimacy. When there is reasonable comfort between the two of you, don’t shy away from initiating playful touching.
A light touch on the back of her hand, taking an extra second to hug tightly and a tap on the shoulder can do wonders to build sexual tension between two partners.
- Once sexual tension has been established, the odds of you having a platonic relationship with the girl of your dreams will be reduced to zero.